As the first unit in this class has come to a close, I have done some of my own research on the personal traits that go into a good leader. Primarily, I struggle with self-esteem and emotional intelligence. Interestingly, these both play on each other. While I tend to harp on my negative attributes/weaknesses, it makes it harder for me to understand how others feel in social situations.
While on the internet, I came across a Ted Idea article by Guy Winch. He is a psychologist who has focused much on self-esteem, mental hygiene, and other issues we all face at some point.
5 Ways to Build Lasting Self-Esteem - Guy Winch
This article focuses on five simple steps everyone can do to help our self-esteem and why self-esteem is so important in daily life.
1. Use Positive Affirmations Correctly
- For most, this is a daunting task. Over the last year, I have been working a lot on acknowledging my poor self talk and trying to turn those thoughts into something more positive. Instead of "Wow that was a stupid mistake I made," I can try to train myself to think "That may not have been a good choice at the time, but I can learn from it."
2. Identify Your Competencies and Develop Them
- Everyone has a skill, or skills, that they excel at. Whether it is school or working out or fixing cars, everyone has something they know themselves to be good at. For me, I excel in science, and I have picked a major that brings out this part of me and makes me feel good when I achieve something new, whether on a test or in research.
3. Learn to Accept Compliments
- I think this may be one of the hardest areas that may of us need to work on. While everyone loves hearing a compliment, some of us feel terribly uncomfortable when given them. I tend to not want to talk about myself or my accomplishments and when one recognizes them, I shy away from the conversation. I am an ordinary person, but if I can learn to say "thank you" instead of shying away from the compliment, I will become more used to receiving positive feedback and making myself believe that I deserve the compliment
4. Eliminate Self-Criticism and Introduce Self-Compassion
- This idea plays off of using positive affirmations correctly. Instead of being mad at yourself for a mistake or poor test grade, see the lesson in it. What is the major take away? What would you say to a friend who was going through a similar situation? Now yourself the same thing!
5. Affirm Your Real Worth
- You need to understand your worth for yourself and not let it be affected by the way others perceive you or by past mistakes. Winch has an activity to help regain self-esteem after a blow has been taken. If you did not get chosen for the job you wanted, write down a list of your qualities for why you would have been good in the position. Take a few of them and expand them into a 1-2 paragraph reflection on your strengths.
I love these steps! I always think having a good self-esteem is important and I like how you express your concerns with your own self-esteem in regards to emotional intelligence. You are amazing and these steps really do make it clear for others to move-up with their self-esteem.
ReplyDelete"mental hygiene" is an interesting phrase, but it's a useful one. We can bring ourselves down.
ReplyDeleteI worked with some colleagues to write an article over spring break based on my podcast, and in particular we focused on one question I try to ask - "Tell me about a leadership lesson you learned the hard way." In other words, tell me about a stupid mistake you made that you had to learn from. Your first point made me think of that.